There are a few questions that tend to plague most people, who shot JFK, do aliens really exist, do these jeans make me look fat and how the hell am I going get through the next 18 hours on a plane without wanting to kill everyone on board including myself.
Yes I know there’s mid flight movies, rouge newspapers in foreign languages and a pack on Xanex in your bag. But more often that not you will need more then that to pass away the mind numbingly dull hours while traveling… Here’s a few tips that I’ve learned along the way
Yes folks this is were to tell your kids to stop reading. But let me give you, not only a hot tip, but an equation that would make Albert Einstein proud. Booze = fun and fun = time going faster. Now I’m not encouraging you get so incoherent that you you think you’re arriving in Berlin instead of Bangkok. But a good mid air sample of the local wines will not only relax you but help your frame of mind. Especially for some of my future suggestions. And hey if anyone asks red wine really does improve mid flight circulation.
FIND ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE
Now I suggest follow this up after step one. Let me throw another equation at you planes = lots of people, lots of people = some have to be hot. It’s a jungle out there kids but in a confined space it’s loads of fun. Something as simple as a stroll around the cabin can do the trick. As can the beverage section mid flight. I have, on more then one occasion, turned this into my own private bar. And for those of you with balls of steel, never be afraid to chat to said stranger because rest assured they are as bored as you are.
Call me boring, but there’s untold amounts of fun to be had with this chestnut.. Not by yourself though, that’s just embarrassing… Find randoms to play along with… guaranteed fun every time!!
MID AIR MAKEOVER
Never underestimate the time taken in a good old nail file, buff and or polish!! Plus there’s extra points for sneaking these items onto the place in the first place. If there was ever a time to pluck your eyebrow to perfection, or closely study every pore on your face… Mark my words that this is it
THE TIME FOR……WELL ANYTHING
Do something you have always wanted to do. Read War and Peace, reorganise the contacts in your phone, catch up on your favorite magazine, plan every second for the rest of your life There aint no time like this!!!! And half way to London you, much like Jim Morrison, will realise that the time to hesitate is through.
BE NICE TO THE STAFF
Yes yes, I know… Now I am just pointing out the blatantly obvious, or am I….. more often then not people are… wait for it.. RUDE…. A simple smile, hello and please to the cabin crew will go a long way in getting everything from an extra blanket, quicker service, hell even that second bread roll. Never and I mean ever make an enemy out of the crew
If you have any other tips for inflight entertainment, Let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org